How to Deal With Negative Self-Talk
We all fall victim to negative self-talk at some point or another. It’s sometimes crazy how easy it can be to let ourselves down, but it happens. I am the worst when it comes to self-criticism, so I’ve had to learn new ways to help myself deal with negative self-talk.
After lots of therapy and internal growth, I’ve found that there are 3 things that help me work my way out of a negative mindset. And today, I’m sharing what I’ve learned with you! Let’s get right into it.
Recognize what’s true and what’s not.
Sometimes all we need to do is acknowledge that what we are saying about ourselves is simply not true.
While it can be really difficult to start doing this, I do think that this is an important habit to build. The next time that you catch yourself saying something about yourself that's negative, take a moment to reflect on whether or not you're experiencing a temporary emotion.
Chances are, you're upset or frustrated at something that just happened, and you're taking it out on yourself.
The next part is to feed yourself a truth. For example, if I'm upset at myself for not getting everything done that day, I might call myself lazy. When I make that statement to myself, my brain is going to focus on everything I did that day that I perceive as negative.
Instead of doing that, I'm going to begin to rewire my brain to think positively about myself.
By focusing on what you did well that day, you'll start to combat that negative self-talk.
So maybe on a day where I didn't get everything done, I can instead ask myself what did I do today that went well? Or maybe, how did I allow myself to rest today and how did that recharge me for tomorrow?
The idea here is to focus on the positive instead of the negative.
Cut yourself some slack.
The next tip I have to deal with negative self-talk is to start cutting yourself some slack.
If you’re like me, you tend to be really hard on yourself when you shouldn't be.
There is so much going on in our lives, that it can sometimes feel overwhelming and stressful. The last thing you need to add to that pile is a bunch of negative self-talk aimed at yourself.
I get it, sometimes we are our own worst critics. But it's important to cut ourselves some slack, and recognize that we are not perfect and we are not meant to be.
I get a lot of questions about how I stay so on top of my routine, and the truth is that I don't. And it took me a long time to realize that that is ok - so now when I don't finish something perfectly, I cut myself some slack and recognize that doing something is better than nothing.
Start doing daily self-compassion practices.
Participating in daily self-compassion is something that has really benefited me, and it doesn't have to be anything crazy.
For example, after a hard workout or a long run, you can practice self-compassion by allowing yourself to take a long shower or maybe treat yourself to a smoothie.
When you start doing daily self-compassion practices, you should start to feel more in tune with who you are, who you want to be, and who you were in the past.
Self-compassion is all about giving yourself that love that you deserve without needing to ask for it.
Something that I find extremely soothing is sitting down at night and working on my journal. I love cutting up pieces of old magazines and creating these awesome pages where I can also store my memories on. For me, that's one way I practice self-compassion.
If I had a really long day and I know I was being hard on myself, journaling is the chance for me to debrief on what went down, what I could've done better, and assess how I should've actually talked to myself.
Maybe self-compassion to you is having an extra-long skincare routine one day. Try thinking of self-compassion as a form of self-care. Make sure that you're talking to yourself in a way that will allow you to grow and won't hold you back.
This is really useful when trying to deal with negative self-talk because self-compassion will be there to balance that out. Like I mentioned earlier, instead of calling yourself lazy or saying why am I so unproductive, self-compassion will remind you that you're human and you deserve to rest.
I really hope that this helps you work with what you're going through right now and hopefully give you some insight into what helped me be my own negative self talk. Talk to you guys all next week, and I hope you have a great weekend!